Dating Relationships - The Balance between Dating and Maintaining Friendships

Published: 29th May 2009
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Everyone has those friends who, when they start a new dating relationship, seem to disappear off the face of the earth. This is especially difficult for women to avoid. If you don't have one of those friends, ask yourself if maybe you're the friend who does that. Do you try to talk to your friends and they act like they haven't seen you in six months? Maybe they haven't. It happens. Maintaining friendships while dating someone new, falling in love and making plans for the future can be difficult. But just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you need to forget your other friends. Besides, if that relationship ends or you solidify future plans, you'll want your friends there to support you.

Making Time for Your Friends

Even when you're not dating someone new, it can be difficult to make time for your friends. Whether someone has additional responsibilities, a change in interests, moved or you just don't do it, the relationships change. Women who get married and have kids sometimes forget about the friends who are still in dating relationship, like there are two different planes of thought. However, those relationships are important. It's like that Girl Scouts song, 'Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold."

When you're in a new dating relationship, it can be especially difficult to spend time with friends, especially if you were already drifting apart. However, if you spend time with those friends now, it'll be easier to maintain the relationships later and it will make your dating relationship stronger. Why? Because instead of spending all your time together, you'll be spending time doing your own thing. And for most relationships, that's a good thing.

So, what are some ways women can maintain friendships that are easy and efficient? Consider these:

1- Setting up a Girl's Night Out. This can involve just a movie or dinner at someone's house. It doesn't need to be expensive. A day of manicures and pedicures could be fun.

2- Inviting your friends to hang out with you and the person you're dating. Movies, dinners and nights on the town are all fun un-awkward ways for you, your friends and the person you're dating to get to know one another.

3- Are any of your friends in dating relationships? Maybe you can do some double-dating. Any of them single? Maybe your new boyfriend has a single, attractive friend you can set up with your friend.

4- Take lunch together. You're both going to lunch eventually, go together, it'll give you time to chat.

5- Join a gym together. Working out isn't a favorite activity of most people, but it's a lot of fun when you go with someone else.

Are There Friends to Avoid?

While it's definitely good to maintain friendships when you start dating someone, that doesn't mean there aren't friendships you should let go, like friends of the opposite sex, including ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends and even some close friends. These might not go over so well with the person you're dating, particularly if it's an ex. You might be tempted to say that it doesn't matter, but for most people, it does.

However, that doesn't mean that you're able to say so to the person you're dating, at least not right away. But, if he says, "I'm going out with Jan tonight," ask if you can come. If he says yes, it'll give you a chance to get to know her and if he says no, it's a good time to explain that it bothers you that he hang out with other women alone while the two of you are dating. Even if nothing's happening.

Likewise, women, you're boyfriend doesn't want you to think he's jealous of your ex, but that doesn't mean he's not. Spending time with him will not do anything for your dating relationship, no matter how many times you insist that relationship is over. A new man's in your life, and it's time to cut out the old ones.

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