Mature Dating - Why Some Relationships Last & Others Don’t

Published: 26th June 2009
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For the last decade the dating community believes it has found the answer to this question. They believe that compatibility is what makes relationships last. Compatibility is part of the reason why some relationships last but at the core of relationships there are fundamental building blocks that can weather any storm in a relationship. As each person and couple learns to establish these building blocks, they will discover a strength and stamina that will develop a mature dating relationship with the end result being a lasting relationship.

Commitment.
This is a scary word for many people but without genuine and sincere commitment a relationship can not function correctly. Commitment says, "I'm by your side no matter what happens." Being committed is what we see in most parents. No matter how crazy or bizarre the choices are that they're children make, they still love them and call them their own. This level of commitment is required in order to grow a mature dating relationship. Especially when you marry, you are essentially saying, "you are now my family." Commitment will carry you through storms, trials and tough times but when you get through on the other side your relationship will be stronger and more secure then ever before.

Convictions.
Many people enter a relationship without knowing the other person's personal convictions. Convictions are the pulses of the soul that drive a person to make certain decisions and belief statements. Every person lives by conviction. Just like your physical body has an impulse to react when you burn your hand, so your subconscious has impulses that are triggered in various situations. How does your partner feel about how money should be handled? How do they feel about drinking or smoking? Are they religious? Do they expect you to be the same religion? You want to get to know their worldview - if they're self consumed or if they care about Africa's orphans. Knowing one another's person convictions is crucial to developing a mature dating relationship.

Humility.
We all think that our way is the best way. It's just the way we're wired. There's a pride in everyone that thinks we've figured it out and know the way. When those areas are challenged or not agreed upon we typically fight. We fight for our way to be known and understood. We want the other person to validate that we know what we're talking about. And when they don't? You find yourself angry and fighting. This is why humility is essential in mature dating relationships. Humility is the water for the fire in this situation. Humility lays down your "knowingness" and submits itself to understanding the other person's point of view. Humility is one of the greatest strengths in the universe.

Most relationships that have lasting a long time will possess these foundational elements. You'll find the two people have a deep love, respect and desire for one another that has been built by selfless acts and kindness. Mature dating relationships are intentional and don't wait around for luck to come to their relationship - they make it happen.


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