Perfect Match - How Can You Overcome Commitment Phobia?

Published: 17th August 2009
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Now that you've found your perfect match, how can you overcome your commitment phobia and find a love that lasts with this person? If you have a definite commitment phobia, then it can be hard to overcome, but if you have the desire to overcome this, then anything is possible with diligence and effort. After all, now that you've found your perfect match, you want to stick around for a while and eventually commit, right?

Now that you've found your perfect match, you need to go back to the beginning and try to ascertain why you cannot commit to anyone in a serious romantic relationship. Some of the possibilities are that you have always had a problem committing to anything, whether it was family members or finishing projects or anything with regard to school or work. If this is the case, then you have a lot of work to do in order to change your habits and discipline yourself to begin to learn to commit to finishing a project and commit to your partner, your perfect match. Another possibility is that you have had a very bad experience in some past relationship and you have emotional baggage and have not been able to completely work through those issues and that is hindering you from fully committing to your partner, your perfect match. Another possibility is that you are just a free spirit and an independent person and you have always had a problem with the idea of settling down with someone, even if you did happen to find your perfect match. If this is the case, you need to take some time to reevaluate your perspective on relationships and what your life goals are and if you can actually settle down in a long-term committed relationship with someone. If you really think this person is your perfect match and are growing to love and care for this person, then you will know if you can't live without this person. Then you know that you need to commit and then you can begin the journey of learning to compromise your life goals with this perfect match, so at least you both can be together.

Once you have figured out why you cannot commit, you need to form an action plan. It is very possible that during this time your partner, your perfect match, has been pressuring you to commit to the relationship. If your partner is pressuring you, then maybe he or she is not such a perfect match for you and maybe you are not such a perfect match for him or her. Of course, one person may be ready to commit before another person does and that is fine, but pressuring someone for a commitment is wrong. If you've been dating for a while and your partner wants to commit, then he or she has a right to bring this up in a discussion, but that is the extent; pressuring to commit should not be a factor. If you really love this person, your perfect match, and can not live without him or her then eventually you will not have a problem committing to a long-term relationship with him or her.

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